I’m Stuck: but that’s O.K.
Updated: Jul 26
For the past couple of weeks, maybe even a few months I have been feeling as if everyone else around me is succeeding and moving up in life, and here I am, furloughed from my job, my unemployment benefits are running out, loveless and with no idea what I want my next move to be. Being that I’m usually the go-getter and ambitious person that I am, all this literally had me in bed, crying for weeks, but after some wishful thinking, lots of alcohol and self-pity moments and a few amazing friends, I realized that it is totally O.K. to feel this way. I am ONLY 23 years old and so far I have been blessed, even with those few bumps in the roads. Of course this mindset of “things are going to be okay” did not come easy, so if you’re also feeling this way, here are a few helpful tips that helped me get over this hump.
1. GIVE YOURSELF SOME SELF-PITY TIME:
I knew that for me to get better I needed to just let it all out. I allowed myself to cry it out. I confided in friends and asked for advice from people that I looked up to. My friends even threw me a “Self-Pity Party” so that I can drink my feelings away with good vibes all around me, but I was only going to allow this self-pity to happen for a weekend. I recommend giving yourself a deadline and after that deadline, put on your big girl/boy pants on and tell yourself “okay enough sadness, what am I going to do to feel better?” and that leads me onto my next tip.
2. PICK UP A HOBBY OR SIDE HUSTLE:
Just to clarify I hate those people who said “if you didn’t pick up a new skill or hustle during this pandemic, you’re just lazy,” because at the end of the day this pandemic has affected so many people in different ways so do not feel the need to HAVE to come out of it with new skills or with a million dollars. But for someone like me who was in a rut, I decided that it was time to focus on other things, like my health. I’ve been over weight for about two years now and let me tell you, body image is a bitch! So after I got out of my rut, I decided to become healthier and get my body right. I’m currently on the Keto diet and have been following the “Chloe Ting 4 Week Summer Shred Challenge” and I’ve been feeling way more better about myself and my image. So even if it’s going for a walk every day, reading a new book or just cleaning up around the house more, pick up something to distract your mind.
3. MANIFEST WHAT YOU WANT TO COME NEXT:
Whatever you believe in, whether it be a religious God, Universe vibrations, or simply just coincidences, take the time to sit and write down what you want your next steps to be and if you don’t know what those next steps are, then write down anything that you want to see in your future and eventually you’ll be able to put the pieces together. There’s just something about writing things down and believing that they will happen, it’s like a form of solidifying your dreams so that they can come true.
4. BE KIND TO YOURSELF:
Stop being so hard on yourself, if there is one thing I learned during this journey of being stuck, it’s that so many people feel this way and or have felt this way, especially in their twenties, and somehow some way everything always seems to work out for the better. Just know that things are coming your way and when you least expect it, BOOM! Everything you ever wanted is yours.
5. SURROUND YOURSELF WITH AMAZING PEOPLE:
You might consider yourself the strong friend, but it’s okay to rely on others and let them help you get through this. Fortunately I’ve been blessed with some amazing friends that always pick me up when hard times hit. Special shout out to Yismel, Keani, Valeria, Jennifer, Emely, Melissa, Jharline, Kalinivel, Bianca, Brianna, Stephanie, Christian, Emmily, Maria and so many more. Without my friends, I probably would have been stuck in my rut for way longer.
So remember, being stuck in your twenties is part of life, and so many people feel that they HAVE to be succeeding because they see all their friends posting about their success, but remember, no one ever posts their failures nor how hard it was for them to get the where they are at. Love yourself and know that being lost in your twenties is part of life.